Post Holiday Blues

Well, I've just come back from a week of loveliness with LC and I want to make a list of what we've been up to:

* Seeing (and taking part in!) The Fringe in Edinburgh

* Going to St Andrews where LC went to university, having a picnic on the beach, and paddling in the North Sea

* Being rowed across Windermere in the blazing sunshine

* Spending inordinate amounts of time with LC

I miss him dreadfully now he's at home and it struck me that I adore him. Not only is he my boyfriend, he's also my best friend. I can tell him anything and he won't judge me or laugh...... too much

AND I AM SO LUCKY

Last Weekend v This Weekend

Last weekend:

* Cocktails with friends

* Driving range (I hit that ball 73 times out of 75. Not bad for a beginner)

* Thai food with chopsticks

* The Movies (The Worlds End: go see it)

* So much laughing

This weekend:

* Too much work

* No LC

* A breakout of Urticaria

* PMT

* Cleaning to do

And so life is. Ups and downs. But it's all to do with remembering that the down bit of it can be remedied. Or welcomed.

Better Mooded

Today I seemed to have turned an emotional corner.

It helped actually spending some time texting LC when I've not really had a decent conversation with him over the weekend.

It does worry me that I'm dependent on him for emotional support and frankly, I'm not sure I should be. Should anyone be dependent on someone for that? I've been dependent on folk before and it's never ended well. Whether that's just because it doesn't, or because of the people involved I'm not sure.

But the emotional corner has been turned and I'm feeling a lot more chipper. I've been all useful and organised and everything.

It's amazing how much of a slave to my emotions I actually am.

Are you?

Never Fish For Compliments

I should know this by now: LC doesn't catch on quick, nor does he compliment.

So when I asked him by text to say something nice as I'd had a crap day, he replied:

"Can't wait for a lovely Friday night"

Um.

We're out with another couple that night (is my company THAT amazing?!)

Let's try again: "Say something nice about ME"

"You should do the skeleton dance! Wiggle wiggle"

What the...............? (Drugs? Does he do drugs in my absence? Why am I not included in this drug taking??)

I stopped and Googled the skeleton dance. I'm not doing that.

I give up. I should have learned never to interrupt him babysitting his nephews and never to assume he'd learn how to compliment me.

I'll do it instead: I'm fit.

Very Lazy Weekend

I've just done bugger all this weekend.

Well, I've done a pile of washing and I've moved piles of things from one side of the house to the other, but other than that nada

I'm currently feeling sorry for myself so have tried to just read a book (I am having trouble with it, to be honest. It's called The Long War by Terry Pratchett and I'm experiencing just that trying to get to the end) and sleep. I have achieved sleep in abundance.

But it's a rare weekend when I'm not planned or with someone - both LC and Wunderkind were away with their respective families - so although I don't like being on my own, it's almost luxurious. I can eat when I want, when I want, watch what TV I like or not, go back to bed at odd times of the day, or sit and drink a bottle of wine and eat a whole share-bag of cheese Doritos for tea (last night. Tonight's tea is even healthier: takeaway).

I even went so far as to treat myself to some lovely half price makeup from www.muastore.co.uk but that was about it.

I'm almost keen to get back to work for some adult interaction.......

I Did Buy Me Some Jewellery

I fancied treating myself. I get that I told you two posts down that I'm permaskint. I still am, I just remembered it was payday and that I wanted something nice.

I've actually bought a ring:

http://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/151595453/doctor-who-sterling-silver-the-girl-who?ref=sr_gallery_6&ga_search_query=the+girl+who+waited&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=GB&ga_ref=auto3&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=the+girl+who+waited

It says The Girl Who Waited on the inside and has stars on the outside.

This works on many levels:

1) I wait for things. I'm hideous at patience: I HAVE NONE. But I've had moments in my life where I've prayed and waited, trusting in more than just me.

2) It's Doctor Who

3) Stars are amazing

4) I'm part magpie so love shiny things

See, I've waited. I waited for 4 years for a good man and LC turned up. Literally. I prayed, I got. I waited to be in a position to buy a house. That particular wait took 6 years. I waited 3 years for a new car. And there's a heap of stuff - lovely stuff, amazing stuff - that I've discussed and I'm currently waiting for. They'll come, I know. I have to trust that they will, but I'm crap at waiting and if I have to buy myself something to look at every day to remind me that I'm The Girl Who Waited then so be it.

My version of the Tardis is coming. Life changing, exciting, and ideally that shade of blue. Everything should be that shade of blue.

Today Has Been Interesting

I've not really enjoyed today for many reasons, most of which are boring and one of which is well, I can't be arsed talking about it. But suffice it to say it's a bit big and it makes my head hurt.

Anyways, LC pointed out that I should make this place about happy things so that when I'm crying before I'm hurt (moi? Drama llama? MOI?!) I can look back and think "Well, it's been quite good really. I'm very lucky"

And I know I am.

I might be overweight but I have lovely knockers

I might be spotty but my eyes are twinkly

I might not enjoy my job but it allows me a lifestyle that's actually very good

I might not be where I want to be but I've LC and Wunderkind and we're all getting there together

And isn't that the way to look at life?